


Clasp

by orphan_account



Category: Free!
Genre: Childhood Friends, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2013-12-12
Packaged: 2018-01-04 11:20:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a friendship has lasted as long as Haruka and Makoto's, is there anywhere else to go but up?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clasp

Makoto and Haruka had had sleepovers since pre-school, when everything was simple. They'd fallen asleep at eleven. In the third grade, they'd stayed up until one playing video games until Makoto's mother had come in and told them very calmly that good boys should be asleep. They were out like lights in minutes, mostly out of fear. 

Years passed, and very slowly, things changed.

For one, they'd stopped holding hands when they slept, which started when they were about...four? Probably four. Makoto used to have nightmares, so Haruka would take his hand and tell him that he'd be okay; if Haruka had good dreams, he could send them to Makoto through his hand. And it had worked...sort of. It didn't work the way they'd made up as children. They'd sleep hand in hand whenever they were together, and Makoto's bad dreams became a thing of the past.

Then around the fifth grade, during a sleepover, Makoto had taken his hand back to himself, curled it, and smiled sheepishly at Haruka through the darkness.

"I'll be okay."

Haruka had been stunned, honestly. He hadn't been upset so much as confused. They'd held hands for so long it seemed like a completely normal thing, and to suddenly not do it anymore seemed wrong, or at least strange.

"It's not you, I just...don't have nightmares anymore."

He'd read his mind, par usual. Haruka had given Makoto an annoyed look and grumbled "Fine." He hated when his friend did that. It was so annoying. Makoto had laughed and said goodnight, and he'd fallen asleep within a few minutes. Haruka hadn't, however. He watched Makoto for a moment before looking at his own hand, noticing for the first time in years how cold it could get without holding onto Makoto's.

Then there was the seventh grade. Makoto had gotten taller. He'd always been a bit taller than Haruka, but now he's grown at least a few more inches. It was irritating; even when Haruka hit his growth spurt, Makoto grew even more. Makoto's bed seemed to grow smaller with every sleepover, both boys struggling to stay on the mattress until Makoto would opt for the floor; he couldn't let his guest sleep on the ground of course. His parents noticed this and decided to get their son a larger bed, one that could accommodate Makoto and also Haruka. Of course, that was a still tight fit. The boys were almost shoulder to shoulder, but they made it work. 

Now though, with all this height and growth, Haruka found that Makoto wasn't looking at him much anymore. They used to dress and undress in front of one another with no trouble. Now Makoto wasn't looking at him at all, or if he did, it was in very short bursts.

This was when Haruka noticed, with Makoto not looking at him, that Makoto had a rather nice back. That wasn't a strange thought, he supposed. Not if it was true.

Then one morning in the eighth grade, just a normal morning, Haruka had awoken to a red-faced, stuttering Makoto who was looking anywhere but him. Puberty had taken it's finest toll on the shorter teen, who had more or less accepted this morning happening far more easily than Makoto had. It was only after it happened again the next sleepover, only to both of them, that Makoto suggested they stop sleeping over, at least for awhile. The shame and embarrassment had shone clear on his face, and Haruka accepted it without a word.

They didn't sleep over again until freshman year of high school, when Haruka's parents left for Tokyo. Makoto and his parents had insisted on it, and Haruka knew better than to refuse good company. The twins were happy to see him, and all was well until it actually came time to sleep.

Makoto was sleeping on his side, which wasn't like him. Haruka of all people would know. His friend was facing the wall, back to him as he slept. He supposed he couldn't blame him; last time had been years ago, but it had been fairly traumatic for Makoto. But they were older now and understood these sorts of things. Haruka understood a number of things now, and almost all of them were about Makoto.

Thinking about Makoto's kind smile during class wasn't a normal thought.

Thinking about how Makoto's back looked when he pulled himself out of the pool wasn't normal.

Holding hands when they slept wasn't normal, and wanting to do it despite the fact it wasn't normal, wasn't normal.

Haruka didn't know if it was purely hormones, but he did know that he'd been around Makoto for so long that he was comfortable around him. There were so few people he was comfortable around these days...it might only be Makoto. And there was always a strange feeling he got when Makoto spoke to others...he wouldn't call it jealousy, but it was certainly something a bit possessive. Makoto was his friend. Makoto knew more about him than anyone ever could. They'd shared almost their entire lives together...he hoped they could stay that way.

Makoto shifted in his sleep and turned over on his back, making a small sound. Just like that, his hand brushed against Haruka's, and without a second thought, Haruka clasped it. There was an almost unnoticeable change in Makoto's features, but Haruka could see it even through the darkness.

Haruka knew right in that exact moment that Makoto's lips turned upward into a peaceful smile that he had feelings for him.

...that wasn't normal.

He let go immediately, hands to himself as he watched his friend sleep. Haruka turned over, facing away as he forced his mind stop putting pieces together.

And it wasn't until another year later when Rin came back that he realized just how far those newfound feelings ran. Makoto had helped start a swim club and became its captain. Makoto had almost drowned. Makoto had faced his fear of the ocean. Haruka had been with him through it all, and those awkward phases through their early teenage years seemed to be a thing of the past.

And now they were sharing a hotel room, the night before the swim nationals. Rei and Nagisa were in their own room, and Rin...Rin might even be in the same hotel, for all he knew. 

They were in separate beds, which was an odd concept on its own, considering them, but he hadn't said anything. Haruka didn't like it. It seemed cold.

He waited until he'd thought Makoto might asleep before saying anything. It'd be better that way. It had all accumulated to this one moment, one time where he needed to say something or else he might burst.

"...Makoto..."

To his horror, he got a sleepy response of "Haru...?" Damn it all. He'd already spoke up; it was too late to back down now.

"...I appreciate you being here with me."

"... _Haru_?"

Haruka could hear Makoto sitting up, the bewildered tone in his voice. He was looking straight at him, he didn't need to turn around to know. Haruka didn't want to turn around anyway. In a fit of embarrassment, Haruka sat up and announced that he was going out for a run, leaving his stunned friend alone in the room.

Damn it, it would've been better if Makoto had been deep asleep. Then his subconscious could've dealt with that bombshell. Haruka had never said anything like that before. How was Makoto handling it? Had he gone right back to sleep? Would he remember in the morning?

After an hour and a chance encounter with Nagisa, Haruka headed back to their room. It was around midnight.; Makoto had to be asleep now.

Of course, when Haruka arrived at their room, he found that Makoto was not only not asleep, but in fact, wide awake, sitting up in bed, smiling that same smile he always seemed to wear

"Welcome back."

Haruka nodded without a word and returned to his own bed.

"Did you have a good run?"

"Yeah. Good night."

"You're tired? I guess you did just run."

"..."

Haruka didn't answer. He pulled the blankets over himself and faced the wall, a quiet sigh leaving him as he forced himself to fall asleep. He didn't want to talk to or look at or think about Makoto...which was impossible. He was going to think about Makoto all night long.

Especially now that his friend was quietly climbing into his bed with him, making himself comfortable.

"I thought it was strange that we'd taken different ones, but I didn't say anything. You thought that, too, didn't you?"

He phrased it like a question, but Haruka knew that Makoto knew he was correct. He was just being polite.

In any case, they were sharing a bed now. A totally normal thing for them...then why was his heart pounding? Had the bed gotten smaller? No, it was just Makoto...damn it.

"Haru."

His friend spoke gently, and it reminded Haruka of whenever Makoto found a stay kitten, how he spoke to it. He was speaking to Haruka like a cat...

He slowly turned over to face his friend, who was smiling and laying on his side. So close...

"Goodnight."

Haruka stared at him and nodded, feeling the urge to turn back over, but found that he couldn't. Not when Makoto was right here beside him, smiling like that.

Before Haruka realized it, time slowed down, and he was fairly certain he lost a full ten seconds, his mind shorting out as he leaned forward to meet his lips.

He came back after those ten seconds and pulled back, a flood of what he'd done washing through his mind. 

He'd kissed Makoto. He'd kissed Makoto, and now Makoto looked shocked, eyes wide and mouth open. He'd done what he'd felt like doing for ages now, and now...

Haruka threw the blankets off the bed and stood.

"I'm going for a run."

"W-...w-wait, Haru!"

His friend grabbed his wrist before he could escape, and Haru stopped immediately. He and Makoto both knew who was the stronger one, and to fight him off would be both pointless and probably send the wrong message. Haruka silently turned around and sat beside Makoto with no intention of speaking. He'd just sit here and wait for his friend to say something for him. That was how it'd probably end up, anyway.

"...Haru..."

Haruka looked to his friend, only managing to do so for a moment before Makoto cupped his cheek and returned his kiss, and simultaneously, his harbored feelings for the past year. Haruka let his eyes close as Makoto kissed him; he could feel his friend's fingers running through his hair at the moment, a sensation he didn't think would feel quite this nice.

The last puzzle pieces were falling into place. Those years of embarrassment and shame. Haruka should've seen it a long time ago. Maybe he had, but just forgotten? Or maybe he'd seen and locked it away until things began to escalate on their own.

Makoto had had feelings for him all this time, longer than Haruka had. It almost made him feel guilty, knowing Makoto had gone through years of frustration and disappointment, maybe shame, only to be requited now. And he would've been perfectly happy just being beside Haruka, sharing ice cream with him, talking to him, being friends with him. Never once putting himself or his needs first.

...Makoto might just love him.

A new energy came up in Haruka as he took Makoto's hand away from his cheek and squeezed it tightly. He could feel the tension in his friends fingers, but they soon clasped with Haruka's comfortably. He could feel his friend smiling through the kiss, and he wondered if it would ever end. He half-hoped that it wouldn't. Makoto's lips were soft and his touch was gentle, everything Haruka had imagined it would be. He knew his friend better than anyone, after all.

...they hadn't held hands in so long...

He could tell Makoto was elated by his energy alone. It was as if he was afraid this moment would end, or that Haruka would cease to exist altogether. His friend was gentle, yes, but he was also quick, excited and most of all, passionate. Every move he made was for Haruka. If Haruka, at any point, told him to stop, then he'd stop. If he wanted more, then he'd get more, and thankfully, mercifully, some higher power deemed that Haruka wanted more.

After years of being scared to death of how he felt, the one thing Makoto hadn't been able to read about Haruka was that he liked him back.

They were stuck against each other for a long while, their actions escalating in fervor until suddenly Haruka found himself reaching under Makoto's shirt. He'd happily worn this shirt himself a few times, and dare he say, it was his favorite of Makoto's clothing.

His friend's skin was warm to the touch, and Haruka continued upward, feeling upward and tracing around Makoto's muscles. Within a moment Makoto had taken off his own shirt, which was only getting in the way at this point. Haruka broke the kiss for a moment to take his own off, and the sad fact was that Makoto had grown so used to seeing Haruka strip (and stopping it), the brunette didn't so much as bat an eyelash. This was rather disappointing, but Haruka didn't let it show and instead got right back to their kiss, taking his chance to feel Makoto again. Had he gotten warmer? It felt like it. He inched closed to his friend, closer, until Makoto was against the backboard with Haruka nearly on his lap and-

"Haru..."

Haruka stopped, his friend's tone concerning him. He looked down at him, and his voice wasn't the only thing concerning him anymore. Makoto's cheek were flushed, and his eyes were slightly clouded, as if he were about faint.

All he'd wanted was to be alongside Haruka, and if Haruka ever ended up liking him the way Makoto liked him, that would be nice, too. It was never one or the other; it was always just...Haruka. As long as he had Haruka in his life, in any way, Makoto would be happy...but maybe he'd underestimated his friend, who was now seated comfortably on his lap.

"Makoto."

The brunette flinched, Haruka's voice jarring him out of his physical and mental turmoil. Makoto had been too focused on his friend's lips and how thin his fingers were, how snugly Haruka's legs fit against his sides...then all the blood rushed south. Was it obvious? Of course it was, Haruka was sitting on him, after all. He'd probably known since before it happened. Makoto was nearly an adult, could he really be blamed for having this sort of reaction to being straddled? He wouldn't dare do anything without asking Haruka's permission, of course, but he wasn't certain how to go about doing so, not like this anyhow. 

Things had gotten out of hand so quickly. He hadn't been prepared for Haruka to respond this strongly, let alone respond at all. Not that there was a problem...well, there was now. He was hard, and it was getting worse by the second.

Silently, Haruka closed the distance between them with a small kiss, and with it said everything that needed to be said, putting a stop to Makoto's racing thoughts. 'It's alright,' 'Don't worry,' etc.

Without so much as hesitating, he slid off of Makoto to remove their shorts, starting with his own and then moving to his friend's. Makoto swallowed nervously; Haruka must have been holding back for awhile, too. 

...the things he'd imagined the two of them doing were lewd enough on their own. He didn't need Haruka showing such a stoic confidence at a time like this...though he supposed Haruka wouldn't be Haruka without that confidence.

And he loved Haruka. Everything about him, every single little thing. Even the need to swim anywhere possible was an eccentricity he'd grown to love. He loved watching him swim, he loved talking with him, knowing how he felt, and now he knew that he loved kissing him, something he longed for since they were old enough to have those sorts of emotions. Even when he was younger than that, he'd felt strange around Haruka. Shyer. He'd learnt to deal with it, and to not let anything about their relationship change, but now...

The two stared at each other, looking nowhere but each other's eyes. It only seemed polite now that they were both in their boxers, tented as could be. Haruka started moving back towards Makoto, settling on his friend's lap again and keeping himself still by holding his shoulder. Makoto's hands found their way to Haruka's waist, keeping a gentle grip on his precious friend.

Makoto had thought of Haruka's confidence a moment ago, but something about it was gone. He looked tense, which was fair, considering the position he was in...that they were in. Both had let their feelings and nature get the best of them.

"...it's not too late."

He spoke softly, reassuring his friend that they could stop now and nothing would change. They would have had tonight and everything would go back to normal in the morning, friends as always. Makoto wouldn't mind. All he needed was Haruka.

He wanted to do this with him, but not at the cost of their relationship.

Haruka shook his head 'No,' looking Makoto dead in the eye as he spoke, voice low, hardly above a murmur.

"I've always appreciated you being with me...and I want to keep being with you."

Makoto's eyes widened again, but before he could say anything in return, Haruka had started to move. His hips rolled against his friend's, their shafts grinding together through the thin fabric of their boxers. Makoto let out a surprised cry, hand going over his mouth as his hips moved instinctively with Haruka's. That felt good, far too good for them to have just started. He uncovered his mouth, eyes on their waists 

This was something he'd never seen of Haruka before. His friend was on top of him, breathing shakily as he went at it. His cheeks were tinged red, eyes glazed with lust but totally focused, and every now and then he'd make a quiet sound, a soft moan or whimper, only to move faster or a different way. At one point, Makoto's name passed from his lips in a whine, a desperate plea for more.

It was the most erotic sight Makoto had ever witnessed, and it made him want to give his friend everything in the world. He wanted to coddle him, spoil him completely rotten with love and care, but most of all, on a rare selfish whim for him, Makoto wanted Haruka to say his name like that again.

He kissed Haruka tenderly, for a moment their sounds mingling together before a short silence fell. They stopped to breathe, still grinding away, and then Makoto decided to move his lips to Haruka's neck. He knew he'd have to be careful; any mark he could possibly make here would be noticed in an instant tomorrow at the relay. He kissed and bit lightly at his friend's collarbone, feeling him shiver against him slightly, and Haruka's hands were now clutching at his back and shoulders.

"M-...Makoto..."

He sounded so amazing, it was nearly hypnotic. Haruka could get him to do nearly anything with just a word, just a pitch and cadence, just looking at him a certain way.

Makoto was no better, of course, moaning softly against his friend's skin, occasionally murmuring "Haru" lovingly. He wondered if he had any effect on Haruka the way he did for him. He hoped so, and would probably know for sure as their relationship went on from here.

...their relationship from here. It could only build from this point, right? One day they'd do more than this...maybe they'd end up being together for years. Maybe...no. It was far too early to be thinking about a thing like that, as happy as it made him. Right now, they were still young. Plenty of time to be foolish and learn even more than they already knew about each other.

Suddenly, Haruka gasped, and it seemed like his grip had grown even stronger. He was moving more deliberately against his friend, and he'd begun to sound more desperate, breath hitching here and there between cries. Makoto held him tightly, matching his pace and every so often kissing him, mostly to silence himself. It was getting a bit embarrassing now. that, and who knew how thin the hotel's walls were?

Haruka came shortly with a shuddered sigh, his back arching and his legs tightening around Makoto's waist. The other boy finally let himself go, clinging to his friend as they both rode out their first climax together.

They sat for a moment, panting, clutching one another as if they'd drift away, in silence. Haruka was resting on Makoto's shoulder, still straddling him but completely loose and totally relaxed. The brunette was planting kisses on his neck and cheek, wherever he could reach at the moment.

They'd done it.

Makoto carefully eased himself down the headboard and straightened out so that were laying down, Haruka still on top of him and not showing any signs of moving.

That was completely fine. More than fine, honestly. Makoto smiled warmheartedly and pulled the blankets over the both of them. They would have to shower in the morning.

"Let's shower in the morning."

Haruka's voice was muffled against his friend, slightly tired. Makoto laughed, knowing he should've seen that coming.

"We will, we will."

He kissed the top of Haruka's head and sighed quietly, watching him for awhile. He still had his beloved best friend. Nothing had changed, and if they had, it had been for the better.

"...Makoto."

"Hm?"

Haruka looked up from his friend's chest, making direct eye contact with him before looking back down again. Makoto felt a warmth surge through him before he started kissing his best friend's hair again, rubbing it fondly. He found Haruka's hand and gripped it tightly with his own, their fingers clasping so naturally it was as if they'd never forgotten what one another felt like.

"I love you, too."


End file.
